Imagine. You are trying. Really, really hard. Even it gives you pleasure. You don't know why, it is still working, so what can be nice about this? New things, new people, the excitement. O yes. Now i get it. But what went wrong? Why aren't they calling ? What I did wrong? Again! This feeling is overwhelming. You thought that is going to be okay now. You will manage. You are the person that improved many features of your character and behaviour. You became more open and more willing to do new, sometimes little bit stressful, things. You are finally proud of your self. Some time the smile is just on your face because. And that's it. But after a while is "Take off that stupid smile. Everything is going to fall apart. Whatever!" For what I even bothered? ". They have to call. I need it. I really do. I wait for this for three days now. It's hard to focus. Studying is almost impossible, it's hard to focus. I do a little cleaning, surfing etc. But I'm fed up with waiting. I even now wait for the freaking guy to bring my parcel and he is not rushing himself apparently. Exhausting. Exhausting. Let me get back to phonetics and phonology. Why on Earth I have to know that?