I'm not sure whether I've made good decisions so far in my life. Many things went wrong, yeah, of course, I've learnt a lot,but now I'm not sure if it was worth all the troubles. I feel like coming here, studying here ( especially what I've chose to study ) was a huge mistake. Leaving home was supposed to change my life, but in a good way. I feel that what I expected I only about 5% of what is now going on in my life. Yes, there is no way to predict what could happen, not all our plans fulfil, but why this can be more % ( I know, look straight in this context ;) )? Someone can say that I should do more to make it happen, but then I have to sacrifice other important parts of my life - my study, my boyfriend, my job ( what equals with no money at all,because I have to earn money on my own to survive ), free time, lazy time etc. There is no way of balancing all these without feeling either exhausted or disappointed. I don't know. I have to figure out all my problems soon, because they will consume me. I watched recently two of my friends going to the UK for better living, they dropped out of college, making they dream come true. However they are now at the stage of looking for job. My other friend went there on holiday to earn money. She says that she had really boring and difficult in a way job, but she keeps saying "I will be back. Only I finish my college and I will be back". I know, better would be to go there 10 years ago, but the more I saw and experience here in our country and my life, the more I thing about it.
Ps. I know that I'm not perfect, but that wasn't the most important feature of my note for me.
I think that I will be back.